Day 1 - Look inside to change the outside

I need to go food shopping, we haven't done a shop in over a week now and the fridge is looking bare. We have food in the freezer and pantry so will take stock and come up with a food plan. 

Consumed today

    glass of water

    mug of hot lemon water

    coffee with oat milk x 2

    pear and apple fruit tea

    night-time herb tea

    ------

    bowl of cereal (1 x Weetabix, handful cornflakes) and semi-skimmed milk

    home-made bread with grilled bacon, 1tbsp ketchup, spread, 1 hash-brown

    home-made smoothie (frozen mixed fruit, yogurt, oat milk, flaxseeds, chia seeds)

    breaded cod, baked sweet-potato fries, mixed vegetables.

I'm not one for wasting food if I can help it, so I just need to make sure that future food purchases are things I'd be proud to eat and cook with. Perhaps stick with a plethora of vegetables and lean meats and use herbs and spices to jazz it up in tray-bakes, bologneses, curries and chillies. 

I could easily join a club and put my health in the hands of someone else. Then throw my hands up in the air proclaiming "This doesn't work either!" when I fail to follow the plan ad-verbatim. So no, not this time. This time I'm going to pay attention to how I feel and I'm going to keep my promises to myself. There's few things more demoralising than letting yourself down. Again. 

So, what promises do I want to make? They have to be easy, small wins that once consistently stuck to, I'll confidently be able to add bigger more challenging goals - or rather they'll seem big now but when it comes to making them I'll be in a better place already. 

1. Daily yoga - first thing or last thing. I need to stretch, too long is spent either in bed or sitting at my desk. 

2. Daily meditation - 2 minutes of focused breathing alone or a 20 minute guided meditation - whatever works on that day. 

3. 1 bottle of water a day on top of my normal drinks. 

4. Veg every day. 

That's it. That's my start. A lot of this I already do, so maybe it's the small incremental changes over time that will make the long term difference. I'll let you know. 

Face the Music and Dance

Hello again,

My name is Emma and I'm still overweight. I've had 2 babies, but that's not why I'm overweight. It happened when I left university and got a sedentary job. You'll read some of my history in the blogs before this. I start very  motivated then...nothing. I have a couple of set backs then give up, which obviously means I've never gotten anywhere (weight-loss and fitness-wise anyway. For everything else, I'm pretty content). 

I've half-heartedly started weight loss programmes in the past (Slimming world at 22 - I lost about 2 1/2 stones, Joe Wicks' 90 Day SSS (but the pregnancies and sleepless nights battered my willpower) and a dabbling in Dukan, fasting (the 5:2), Herbalife and Weight Watchers), but honestly, the only time I ever really stuck to something was that first stint at Slimming world (there have been another 2 attempts since and I always gave up after about six months both time because, quite frankly, I fell off the wagon, probably because I've never figured out my WHY).

I'm finally getting some unbroken sleep after nearly 5 years of being woken by my kids, so now it's time to prioritise me.

Why am I doing it?

Because I sure as hell don't want to be a burden on my kids in the future. I may be overweight (ok, obese) now, but I feel pretty good on the whole. I look good most of the time, but there's room for improvement though that's not why I want to lose weight. I want to avoid the illnesses that come with being overweight. I want to avoid dementia. I want to avoid needing to be looked after by anyone. I want to be independent FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. It's a pretty good reason, don't you think?

So what are my stats?

- I'm 5'10

- I'm 17st 2lbs (240lbs)

- My lowest weight after dieting was 11st 13lbs (167lbs) 15 years ago.

- low-normal blood pressure

- not diabetic

- mother of 2 (4 and 2)

- not on any medication

Why now?

It feels right. I want to set a good example to my kids as they become more aware of themselves and the life beyond their home. I want to be kind to myself and do the best by myself because I've prioritised work and family above myself for years. And there was no reason to do that. Nobody asked me to put them first.

What am I going to do?

I'm going to track what I eat and how it makes me feel.

I'm going to move my body every day.

I'm going to focus on how I feel not the weight loss. To do this, I'm not going to weigh myself for 10 weeks so I focus on my moods and the mirror rather than a number.

I'm going to watch YouTube videos for inspiration.

I'm going to celebrate personal milestones (though I need to work out what those milestones are).

I'm going to write this blog as a diary, to monitor how far I've come, focussing on exercise completed, food eaten, milestones beaten and goal-hitting celebrations and best practice learned.

Context

We are 11 weeks into the Covid-19 pandemic. I have put on 6 lbs in that time, and lost 2 of them this week by cutting out bread, eating more protein and drinking more water. I refuse to stay this weight. This is the heaviest I am ever going to be. I love the me inside. I just don't yet look the way I'm supposed to. I am meant to be strong and fast and healthy. I'm starting that journey full throttle today. Wish me luck.

Lean in 15 - Cycle 1 Day 1

Well hello body in the mirror, or should I say goodbye? It's been nice knowing you and honestly you've done great work for me, but it's time for me to do something for you. I'm sorry I've neglected you for so long.

Today is the day we work together to improve our health and well-being. Forget all those false starts. This is it.

Apologies for the 20 minute workout I put you through this morning. I know it's been a long time since you've done anything like that at that pace. Lets be honest, long time doesn't even come close. I'm also sorry we couldn't do all the moves properly. Just goes to show how out of shape I've let you become. Hopefully you've enjoyed the copious breakfast we had today.  I don't know why I never made overnight oats like that before. Tasty.

So yes, I've signed up to 90daysss plan. I've received and printed it out, filed it and filled in my food plan for this week. I'm obsessively watching you-tube to keep my motivation in full swing and in 90 days I'm looking forward to saying "How you doin'?" in the mirror.

3 months left till I go back to work from maternity, so this plan is starting with perfect timing. No excuses. If I go away, I'll still be able to do HIIT workouts and have my carb meals after my work outs and low-carb meals for the other times.

I'm envisioning the feeling I have when I get up that morning, put on my new dress in a smaller size, walk my son to nursery and feel as confident as I can walking through my office door. The new and improved energetic me. Focused, healthy and raring to go. It all starts today.

Pick yourself up and start all over again

I've found the secret. It's simple really. It's a new year, so I've started a new regime of small incremental changes. They are barely noticeable, but they are making a difference. A home made vegetable soup here, a freshly made juice there, a ten minute walk here, an indulgent piece of dark chocolate there. I sit at the table and light a candle. It's 'only' dinner, but why shouldn't it be a pleasure, something to look forward to?

We found the nice cutlery and donated the old. Why save your best for rare occasions? Every day is a gift and is there to be celebrated! It makes the monotony of uninspiring working days more enjoyable. Talking at the table fosters creativity, strengthens bonds with your loved ones and strengthens resolve. I resolve to enjoy myself more. It's good resolution!

Happiness, for me, is linked with movement and words. The more I move, the happier I feel. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sat at my desk waving my arms jumping up and down then dancing round the office. That wouldn't do! But I am walking to work on the less rainy days (there have been a few, honest!) and I've part taken in a spot of an at home exercise DVD. I did sweat. A little. It felt good. I'll do it again.

I'm cooking from fresh and trying new recipes. Things we've never tried before are appearing on our table. It's becoming a hobby. I make batches of soup at the weekend and take a flask to work. Leek and potato or vegetable surprise this week. They taste good. I've eaten less bread. Like I said, small and incremental. It's leading to a lost pound here, a complement there. I may want to speed up the process sometimes, but this is manageable, and it's working.

This time next year I could be 'The Chart's' definition of healthy! Ok, maybe the year after, but I've given myself that little shove. Now to gain more momentum....

Guru

IMPLODE!
I reached a tipping point last week. Work had steadily been getting more stressful and I was working longer hours. Exercise ceased entirely, I had no energy. My healthy eating habits had gone out the window as I was too tired to plan my meals and I hadn't had the chance to shop, so there was no healthy food in the fridge. I kept forgetting things, even small things, and I was getting little pleasure out of life. I knew it had to stop. I'd been in that position before and I had to find a long term solution - I had to ask for help.

Guru
In this case, my Guru turned out to be my brother. Same physical make up, same history, same generation. Who better to ask? He motivates me more than anyone else as I know that if something works for him, it is likely to work for me. So what did he say? These were his pearls of wisdom:

• Exercise - join the gym and involve a friend / instructor so they will keep you motivated - if you're not a self-starter when it comes to exercise then you need someone else to whip you into shape!
• Start your day with a healthy smoothie - any fruits, a little juice, non-dairy yogurt and/or milk, cereal (e.g. weetabix or oat bran) to help fill you up and maybe some spinach for added nutrients (you can't taste it, honest, although depending on how much you put in the smoothie may turn an odd colour, but it'll still taste good I promise!)
• If you want a snack, like bread, make it healthy. E.g. have a slice of bread with lean ham and salad.
• Aim to drink 2 litres of water a day. 

It's not rocket science is it? But for some reason, because it came from him I'm following the advice.

I guess it doesn't matter what finally makes you turn a corner and take control of your life, just so long as eventually you stop making excuses and just do it. 

I've joined the local gym and the instructor has been incredibly helpful in setting me up a program to help me train for the 10 mile run in October. I thought I'd be doing lots of cardio on the treadmill and bike, but they don't feature in my plan at all. It's only the cross trainer and rowing machine to cover cardio - the rest of the workout focuses on core strength.

WHAT CORE STRENGTH?!

Seriously, I had none. He asked me to do a plank and I managed 25 seconds. Pretty poor, totally poor to be honest but I managed 35 seconds last night so I think it'll be cause for celebration once I reach one minute. 

My muscles had never ached so much after that first session, but I actually think that ache helps me to feel ALIVE. It's so easy just to exist and I want so much more than that. I want to zing with energy.

AWAKE
Well, I'm not quite zinging yet, but after just 4 days of healthy eating and 2 gym sessions I'm home from work at 10.30pm and I feel ok. I'm not stressed. I could cope with it. I was awake enough before I left to arrange my to do list for when I return on Monday, so I don't have to think about work till I'm back in the office.

You know what? That feels like a gift. I have a whole weekend to enjoy. Work can wait. This is me time and I'm going to enjoy it for what feels like the first time in a long time. I'll even go to the gym on Sunday to 'pep' myself up. One day I will zing - and I have a feeling that with a little bit of perseverance it will be sooner rather than later.

GO CALL YOUR GURU. Ask for motivation and you will find it.

Spring in My Step

Spring is a comin' hence the change of look and the more positive colour scheme! It's now light enough in the mornings for me to get up at 6.30 and leave the house by 6.45 for an early morning 2.5 mile power walk (as powerfully as you can walk when you're half asleep anyway).

I'm throwing in a couple of jogs on most walks to get into the habit of running outdoors so by the end of March my aim is to run the whole way around.

The half marathon in May is now a no-go thanks to the recommendation of my friend who gave me the unfortunate news that I had chosen the most tedious and difficult event in the South West, so I will be saving myself for a 10K in October instead. This gives me the whole Summer to train, so I should have clocked up some decent mileage by then. Here's hoping!

I'm reading the best motivational book I've ever laid hands on and it's really driving my expectation to succeed and believe in my abilities. Not bad for an English person eh?

Oh yes - weight wise I have lost 8lbs so far - only averaging 1/2lb per week but, as i'm regularly reminded, that will lead to nearly 2 stones a year. I've given up chocolate bars for lent and can honestly say it isn't difficult once you've made your mind up. You lose the taste for it. My danger zone is the weekend when I relax and eat with friends so this weekend I'm going to put extra effort into healthy eating and exercise to ensure a decent weight loss this week. If I could crack that recommended 2lb average weekly weight loss there will be a whole lot less of me to lug around the race in October. I'm sure my knees will thank me for it!

Don't sweat it.

Don't let them see you sweat. That's the advice being offered to the Bridezilla on TV at the moment.

I'm not letting people see me sweat, but trust me I am sweating! Its refreshing. Try it! I haven't felt my heart pumping like this for a long time and it feels good.

What helps the most? Music and a cool breeze, so if (like me) you're not quite ready to brave the cold outdoors, open a window, get on that treadmill and play the music loud!

Discovery so far: Running is not fun, but the way I feel afterwards is amazing.

My training is getting behind schedule, but I still have three and a half months to go before the big race. Slow and steady is the aim. I just need to make a training plan and stick to it.

Any suggestions for what I need to do to be race ready in 3.5 months?!