Day 1 - Look inside to change the outside

I need to go food shopping, we haven't done a shop in over a week now and the fridge is looking bare. We have food in the freezer and pantry so will take stock and come up with a food plan. 

Consumed today

    glass of water

    mug of hot lemon water

    coffee with oat milk x 2

    pear and apple fruit tea

    night-time herb tea

    ------

    bowl of cereal (1 x Weetabix, handful cornflakes) and semi-skimmed milk

    home-made bread with grilled bacon, 1tbsp ketchup, spread, 1 hash-brown

    home-made smoothie (frozen mixed fruit, yogurt, oat milk, flaxseeds, chia seeds)

    breaded cod, baked sweet-potato fries, mixed vegetables.

I'm not one for wasting food if I can help it, so I just need to make sure that future food purchases are things I'd be proud to eat and cook with. Perhaps stick with a plethora of vegetables and lean meats and use herbs and spices to jazz it up in tray-bakes, bologneses, curries and chillies. 

I could easily join a club and put my health in the hands of someone else. Then throw my hands up in the air proclaiming "This doesn't work either!" when I fail to follow the plan ad-verbatim. So no, not this time. This time I'm going to pay attention to how I feel and I'm going to keep my promises to myself. There's few things more demoralising than letting yourself down. Again. 

So, what promises do I want to make? They have to be easy, small wins that once consistently stuck to, I'll confidently be able to add bigger more challenging goals - or rather they'll seem big now but when it comes to making them I'll be in a better place already. 

1. Daily yoga - first thing or last thing. I need to stretch, too long is spent either in bed or sitting at my desk. 

2. Daily meditation - 2 minutes of focused breathing alone or a 20 minute guided meditation - whatever works on that day. 

3. 1 bottle of water a day on top of my normal drinks. 

4. Veg every day. 

That's it. That's my start. A lot of this I already do, so maybe it's the small incremental changes over time that will make the long term difference. I'll let you know. 

Face the Music and Dance

Hello again,

My name is Emma and I'm still overweight. I've had 2 babies, but that's not why I'm overweight. It happened when I left university and got a sedentary job. You'll read some of my history in the blogs before this. I start very  motivated then...nothing. I have a couple of set backs then give up, which obviously means I've never gotten anywhere (weight-loss and fitness-wise anyway. For everything else, I'm pretty content). 

I've half-heartedly started weight loss programmes in the past (Slimming world at 22 - I lost about 2 1/2 stones, Joe Wicks' 90 Day SSS (but the pregnancies and sleepless nights battered my willpower) and a dabbling in Dukan, fasting (the 5:2), Herbalife and Weight Watchers), but honestly, the only time I ever really stuck to something was that first stint at Slimming world (there have been another 2 attempts since and I always gave up after about six months both time because, quite frankly, I fell off the wagon, probably because I've never figured out my WHY).

I'm finally getting some unbroken sleep after nearly 5 years of being woken by my kids, so now it's time to prioritise me.

Why am I doing it?

Because I sure as hell don't want to be a burden on my kids in the future. I may be overweight (ok, obese) now, but I feel pretty good on the whole. I look good most of the time, but there's room for improvement though that's not why I want to lose weight. I want to avoid the illnesses that come with being overweight. I want to avoid dementia. I want to avoid needing to be looked after by anyone. I want to be independent FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. It's a pretty good reason, don't you think?

So what are my stats?

- I'm 5'10

- I'm 17st 2lbs (240lbs)

- My lowest weight after dieting was 11st 13lbs (167lbs) 15 years ago.

- low-normal blood pressure

- not diabetic

- mother of 2 (4 and 2)

- not on any medication

Why now?

It feels right. I want to set a good example to my kids as they become more aware of themselves and the life beyond their home. I want to be kind to myself and do the best by myself because I've prioritised work and family above myself for years. And there was no reason to do that. Nobody asked me to put them first.

What am I going to do?

I'm going to track what I eat and how it makes me feel.

I'm going to move my body every day.

I'm going to focus on how I feel not the weight loss. To do this, I'm not going to weigh myself for 10 weeks so I focus on my moods and the mirror rather than a number.

I'm going to watch YouTube videos for inspiration.

I'm going to celebrate personal milestones (though I need to work out what those milestones are).

I'm going to write this blog as a diary, to monitor how far I've come, focussing on exercise completed, food eaten, milestones beaten and goal-hitting celebrations and best practice learned.

Context

We are 11 weeks into the Covid-19 pandemic. I have put on 6 lbs in that time, and lost 2 of them this week by cutting out bread, eating more protein and drinking more water. I refuse to stay this weight. This is the heaviest I am ever going to be. I love the me inside. I just don't yet look the way I'm supposed to. I am meant to be strong and fast and healthy. I'm starting that journey full throttle today. Wish me luck.