Face the Music and Dance

Hello again,

My name is Emma and I'm still overweight. I've had 2 babies, but that's not why I'm overweight. It happened when I left university and got a sedentary job. You'll read some of my history in the blogs before this. I start very  motivated then...nothing. I have a couple of set backs then give up, which obviously means I've never gotten anywhere (weight-loss and fitness-wise anyway. For everything else, I'm pretty content). 

I've half-heartedly started weight loss programmes in the past (Slimming world at 22 - I lost about 2 1/2 stones, Joe Wicks' 90 Day SSS (but the pregnancies and sleepless nights battered my willpower) and a dabbling in Dukan, fasting (the 5:2), Herbalife and Weight Watchers), but honestly, the only time I ever really stuck to something was that first stint at Slimming world (there have been another 2 attempts since and I always gave up after about six months both time because, quite frankly, I fell off the wagon, probably because I've never figured out my WHY).

I'm finally getting some unbroken sleep after nearly 5 years of being woken by my kids, so now it's time to prioritise me.

Why am I doing it?

Because I sure as hell don't want to be a burden on my kids in the future. I may be overweight (ok, obese) now, but I feel pretty good on the whole. I look good most of the time, but there's room for improvement though that's not why I want to lose weight. I want to avoid the illnesses that come with being overweight. I want to avoid dementia. I want to avoid needing to be looked after by anyone. I want to be independent FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. It's a pretty good reason, don't you think?

So what are my stats?

- I'm 5'10

- I'm 17st 2lbs (240lbs)

- My lowest weight after dieting was 11st 13lbs (167lbs) 15 years ago.

- low-normal blood pressure

- not diabetic

- mother of 2 (4 and 2)

- not on any medication

Why now?

It feels right. I want to set a good example to my kids as they become more aware of themselves and the life beyond their home. I want to be kind to myself and do the best by myself because I've prioritised work and family above myself for years. And there was no reason to do that. Nobody asked me to put them first.

What am I going to do?

I'm going to track what I eat and how it makes me feel.

I'm going to move my body every day.

I'm going to focus on how I feel not the weight loss. To do this, I'm not going to weigh myself for 10 weeks so I focus on my moods and the mirror rather than a number.

I'm going to watch YouTube videos for inspiration.

I'm going to celebrate personal milestones (though I need to work out what those milestones are).

I'm going to write this blog as a diary, to monitor how far I've come, focussing on exercise completed, food eaten, milestones beaten and goal-hitting celebrations and best practice learned.

Context

We are 11 weeks into the Covid-19 pandemic. I have put on 6 lbs in that time, and lost 2 of them this week by cutting out bread, eating more protein and drinking more water. I refuse to stay this weight. This is the heaviest I am ever going to be. I love the me inside. I just don't yet look the way I'm supposed to. I am meant to be strong and fast and healthy. I'm starting that journey full throttle today. Wish me luck.